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And Then It Came To the Point When I Asked Myself


And then it came to the point when I asked myself, "Should I forgive him to prove I'm a true friend or should I pursue my pride, make him realize my worth and make him regret?"
It was a hot afternoon long ago when my teacher was dictating hard questions for our quiz in History. I was still in grade three back then, childish, vulnerable, friendly, and very much pissed with our quiz. I didn't study the night before and had no one else sitting next to me but him. I couldn't ask for answers because he was new back then and I was afraid he might ignore me, but I was wrong. When the quiz became harder I got even more pissed and didn't want to have a poor grade so I bravely poked and approached him, gave a huge friendly smile and asked, "Would you mind sharing answers with me?" He smiled back and said "Not at all! I'm Jasper. And you are?" And from that moment on we became good friends. That one simple conversation started my adventurous and irreplaceable bonding and friendship with Jasper.
We remained friends until high school. But soon I realized Jasper and I have only a few months left to bond with each other before high school ended. So, I got scared. I became possessive of him, I always followed him, I got angry when he hung out with someone else, I demanded more time with him than the usual and it made him feel tied up and captured. it was like I took away his freedom. My possessiveness led him to staying away from me; he even stopped hanging out with me. He avoided me and wanted to get rid of me, and I felt rejected. I couldn't understand why he was hurting me when all I wanted was his time and attention. I cried every night thinking of how to escape the pain. after all the crying and the attention seeking, I got tired and through; I stopped minding him, I stopped communicating, I stopped posting pathetic drama on Facebook and I even thought of just forgetting everything we had been through since our third grade.
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Goddess in Disguise


                  On the afternoon of August 2, 2012, I walked through the path walk of my school, University of the Philippines Mindanao, dealing with the nervousness I felt, thinking about what lay ahead. That time, I just couldn’t keep myself from worrying what might happen, being the Iska representative of my course, BA Communication Arts (BACA). As I arrived in the Atrium, I saw students moving from one place to the other, busy with the Freshmen Torch Night. After a while, some of my block mates passed by and greeted me, and I acknowledged the gesture with a smile. It was all the energy I could summon.
                        I was walking continuously until I arrived in the classroom where the contestants for the Search for Ultimate Isko and Iska were located. Ate Joya, a third year BACA student, called my name and asked me to sit on the chair for the make-up artist was already waiting for me.
                        Two hours later, the organizers called the “Isko’s” and “Iska’s” for the production number. Reaching the backstage, we were requested to hold hands. There, a spontaneous prayer was led by the former Isko called “Kuya George”. After, we were asked to settle ourselves. And as I stepped on the grand stage, my heart was beating so fast. I heard people shouting and cheering, which made me feel traumatized until now. But, I couldn’t see them. The lights were very bright. I could only see the shadows of the audience.
                        After two group numbers from the freshmen, we were again back on stage. The next exposure was the Festival Attire. I tried so hard to project a “Dalagang Filipina” way of bringing herself, knowing that the background music did not match the way my Isko and I walked through the stage. The music was a fast-beat one but we still managed to walk slowly to be able to execute the proper attitude while in a Santacruzan.

                        The third exposure was the “Wear-Your-Course” Attire. The attire worn here depicted everything about the course one is representing. The attires of both the Festival and the “Wear-Your-Course” were innovatively made by the third year BACA. It felt overwhelming because every time we speak, I could hear the cheers of the crowd.
                        “Nagkahiusa sukad pa sa una. Sa nagkadugay kini mas nihingpit pa. Madayaw nga gabii kaninyong tanan! Ako po si Kris Shelley Marie Tiu at ako naman po si Oliver Olivas. Tapang, talino at talento, dito niyo lang mahahanap sa kursong pinagtibay ng saya at tagumpay. We don’t just talk, we communicate. Mabuhay, BA Communication Arts!” was the statement OB and I uttered to introduce ourselves and our course.
                        The Sports Attire came next. Here, different sports were showcased by the nine courses. We chose to have golf as our sport. I was quite nervous that time because of all the sports attire, ours was the simplest. We did not have so many things to wear.
                        The fifth was the most feet- trembling moment, the talent portion. “Being A Geek” was the chosen music and interpretative dancing was our chosen talent to showcase. With God’s grace and help, OB and I successfully did our part, embracing the fact that we only had our practice for two days. We were assisted by a third year BACA, Kuya James, during the practices, to come up with a presentable number.
                     The Question and Answer portion was the last. There was a picture analysis via projector and at the same time, there was a question given us depending on the picture being flashed. The first time I saw the picture, I felt relieved from nervous because I was able to collect my thoughts immediately. However, when I was asked about my stand about health issues, I was a bit preoccupied. I couldn’t find the right words to say and the lights were very distracting. Also, spontaneous speaking in front of a crowd is not my forte. I think, those were the reasons why I was not able to give the most appropriate answer.
                        The last and my most awaited part of the program was the awarding. For me, it seemed to be the ending of my stress and pressure. Luckily, I had two special awards—the Anak UPMin Choice of Iska and the GabYouthful Choice of Iska. I also had three minor awards, the Best in Sports Attire, Best in Festival Attire, and Best in Wear-Your-Course Attire. Though I was not able to have my place in the top three, I still can’t replace the feeling of being special, given to me by those who care for me. I cannot thank God enough for the unconditional love and unending support of my course mates, making me forget my loss. At the end of the night, I really believed that it is not winning the title that counts, but how the people around me made me feel very special, despite not reaching their expectations. Most importantly, my Isko OB and I did our best.
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The Adventures of the 13-year Old Boy


It has never been my dream to study abroad since I was young. I just imagined that I’d be the typical average high school student who enjoys his company of friends, does his assignments whenever he needs to and just follows whatever his parents ask him to do. But everything changed in a single chit-chat of my parents with our family friend in the August of 2008. Voila! I was being asked to join my childhood friend to study abroad for a span of two months. I was like, is this really happening? Am I really going abroad alone? I’m just 13, are you even serious?!
It all started when my Tita asked my mom if I could go with Kariza, a childhood friend of mine, for a study tour in Xiamen, China. The tour was said to last for two months, making my whole summer a complete “study vacation” in China. At first, I was a little bit hesitant but then I looked at the bright side.  I could learn a lot more about the Chinese culture and language; not only that, it was also said that there would be tours for us overseas students to enjoy and not to get homesick. Thus, I readily and eagerly answered a YES to the invitation.
It was the morning of March 29th, 2011 when I bid goodbye to my parents at the airport. I felt nervous, seriously, for it was really my first time to be separated from them. I felt deep inside that they were also sad about my leaving, but I believed that they’d be happy to know if I’d study hard and do the best I can while in China.
I spent two days in Manila for some picture taking and a breakfast with Mr. Lucio Tan, the popular business tycoon in the Philippines who sponsored the whole study trip. I then departed to Xiamen, China on the 31st of March 2009.
I arrived at the airport nervous and excited—nervous because before, I was known to be one of the shy kids who prefers to stay alone as much as possible; and also excited, because my two- month adventure started there. But soon after, I didn’t feel any nervousness at all. Some unknown people just approached me and asked my name, and after that, I suddenly had friends! Going to such tour wasn’t a thing I should be nervous of, for I realized that there were a lot of students like me, who were also struggling because of their first time traveling without their parents.
Days went by and I continued to be the typical Filipino student who continued to learn the Chinese culture and language. Every day, I woke up at 8 a.m. in order to attend classes. There were Chinese language writing skills subject, the Chinese conversation ssubject, the Chinese singing subject, the Chinese painting subject, and lastly Wu Shu—the Chinese sport which was derived from Kung Fu.
Happy times continued to flourish as I continued on my adventurous journey. I met a lot of new friends from different parts of the Philippines-- Manila, Cebu, Iloilo, Cagayan de Oro, name it, I made friends from those places. I tried a lot of new things, like playing water fights on the soccer field in our dorm, having late night chats through the telephone at the dormitory, having some “adventures” all over the dorm, spending my money like there was no tomorrow (which caused my parents to get mad at me), and a lot more.  But, as we all know, people also experience some sad moments in some part of their life. There were times when I’d get homesick and suddenly miss my parents and my sister, though everything there seemed fun and joyous. There and then I realized that my family are the most important persons in my life.
On May 23rd, 2009, we finally bid goodbye to our tour friends. I still clearly remember the time when we were bringing our bags down the elevator before going to the airport. We cried. We weren’t ready to leave one another. Everything was like a fairytale. We met new friends from all over the Philippines and suddenly realized that we will never ever see each other again. Never in my life had I thought that I would meet those kinds of people who cherished me and accepted me for the way I am. Thus, we continued crying until arriving in NAIA Terminal 2.
It all started with that simple chit-chat of my parents and my Tita that changed my whole outlook in life. My experiences, friendships, and lessons learned were all part of the study tour.
I never imagined the whole Xiamen Study Tour even in my wildest dreams. Without it, I may not have been the person I am at the present. Thus, I thank them—my parents, for giving me the opportunity to travel, learn, and discover—the beauty of life. 
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All Thanks to My Bending-Tongue


         It was the second day of my stay in Singapore for the International Friendship Week and we were having ‘Tea Appreciation’ in a little tea-house across China Town. After we had prepared and drunk seven kinds of tea, we were given time to mingle with our tablemates before heading off to shop. My tablemates—three European girls and the girl I went to Singapore with, didn’t have much to talk about. That made me envious of the table next to us because they seemed to be having fun with their ‘Can you do this?’ game. I started bending my tongue in response to the other-table’s game which made the three European girls—Anja, Louise and Chiara, including my colleague, Fe, gush loudly in amazement. The others from the next table got intrigued and inquired what the commotion was all about then some of them decided to join us in our table after being impressed with my circus act.
 While they were all trying to imitate my little exhibition, and I laughed at how silly they looked, someone poked me on the shoulder and whispered, “Melissa, can you show me what you did with your tongue?” For some reason, my heart was overjoyed because the beautiful-poking-Danish-boy knew my name and said it with a different kind of ring only he could do. I gladly complied with his request and he moved to our table. I thought it would be the first and last encounter I would have with him because I didn’t think that he would have any interest in knowing me further. After all, I was just an ugly Filipina with nothing to boast but her bending-tongue exhibition. But I was wrong.
After the tea appreciation, we walked together to Chinatown and on the way he asked things about my life, my family, and other stuff that is very unusual for an uninterested boy. We parted for a while when he tried to search for a pair of sunglasses that looked just like mine—I shopped for some souvenirs too, and we hung out once again after his failed search. We had a lot of fun that day especially when he joked about having a crush on a half-naked fat man sleeping on one of the benches outside the temple. He dared me to get the fat-man’s number for him thinking I can’t do it. But when I started walking towards the fat man, he grasped my forearm and begged me to stop. I froze. I did not expect that his touch would be that electrifying and I was pretty sure he was surprised with what he did too, but instead of letting go, he caressed my forearm and said, “Your skin is so soft,” then caressed it some more before letting go. The day was nearing an end when I found out his name—Lauge, and at almost the same time the bus collected us.
The next morning, he asked me if I wanted to hear something funny—I said yes, he told me that his host-partner asked if we were in a relationship. We both laughed but after a while, his face turned anxious and he blurted out the words, “…but if it’s fine with you, we can be like boyfriend and girlfriend for like three days or…” he didn’t have the chance to finish his sentence because I walked out in pure embarrassment but I was grinning like an idiot the whole time. I expected to have an awkward atmosphere with him after that but it only made us closer.
There were a lot of questions and teasing about us, but I admired how he didn’t mind all that fuss. His best friend kept on reminding him that he had a girlfriend at home but he continued to treat me like he wanted to prove those rumors right. There were times when I tried to keep a distance from him—keep my guard up, just so I wouldn’t fall for an already committed man, but he would make a way to destroy my shield and we ended up enjoying each other’s company while it lasted.
                        During the last day of the event, we spent the whole day in Sentosa. That place was the witness of all the wonderful moments I had with him before we finally bid goodbye. There was an awful sadness I felt when we went back to the hosting-school in the evening. After we took group pictures, Lauge asked me if we could have a picture together just the two of us. Before I could say yes, the principal from a school in Germany said, “Yes! You two should have a picture together. I’ll take it!” It was quite embarrassing to stand next to him and to have our photo taken by a school principal!
            It was dinner time when everyone started to get everybody’s email addresses. While I was typing mine on the iPhone of Jan, a German participant and friend, Lauge moved in and hugged me in front of everybody long enough for Jan to say “Yes, you should hug your wife, Lauge”
            When we finally bid our goodbyes, I hugged each and everyone. Lauge was crying and fretting about how gay he was with what he’s doing. When it was my time to hug him, I was hesitant but it was good that he initiated the move. It was really long, and I joked about how he’ll miss our friend, Karla, the most. “No, you’re the one I’m going to miss the most” he rebutted and with a soft slightly parted lips pressed against my neck, he hugged me tighter and I gloried in his arms for the last time.
            We all left Singapore the next morning— my companions and I headed to Malaysia and the others back to their hometowns. Lauge had asked me, the night before, if I can come and see him before he goes back to Denmark, but I didn’t make it. I felt a silent ironic painful numbness when I finally realized that we will never see each other again.
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Stuttering Stage Shock


         “And last, but definitely not the least, Colegio de San Ignacio!” The small audience before us applauded, and I stood rooted in place gaping much like a goldfish. I blinked once, twice, before I snapped out of my reverie and joined the other semi-finalists in front. I got into the semi-final round for the DCWD Extemporaneous Speaking Contest. I had been training for this since the start of my school year as a high school senior, but it still felt so surreal. Who knew that someone as taciturn as me could make the cut? November 16, 2011 is surely a date that I will remember. The next challenge would be the semi-finals and finals the following week; I needed to make sure that I was ready.
On the morning of the big event, I was fidgety inside the school library. The contest didn’t begin until one o’clock in the afternoon, so I had to sit and wait while my classmates were having classes. A part of me wanted to join them, just to calm my jittery nerves, but I had been told to take it easy. It’s mildly ironic that taking it easy was doing nothing to relax me. I recalled what my coach said: Give the crowd something to remember.
By lunchtime, my coach, the school principal, the high school moderator, and other administrators called me over to them. I made my way to them, and then our high school moderator announced that we were going to have a prayer, through the sound system. Slowly, students filed out of their classrooms and stood by the corridors. I bowed my head, a bit flustered. After the prayer, I had expected everyone to just silently go back into their classrooms like they usually did. I was wrong. My batch mates broke out into thunderous cheers and yells, wishing me good luck. I stood stupidly in the middle of the school grounds, lost on what to do. Their cheers pretty much echoed through our small and modest school. I broke out of my stupor and raised my hand, with a grin that could make any giddy idiot jealous.
My coach and I arrived at NCCC and proceeded to the Event Center.  My coach went to get seats while I went to the restroom to change into my suit. I returned shortly after and spotted my coach with my mom, who had arrived shortly after I went to the restroom. Soon enough, the other contestants arrived with their coaches and classmates. The event holders gathered us together and gave another briefing. Then we took our seats on the stage. As luck would have it, I was contestant number six. I listened to the first three contestants before I shifted my attention to the audience. Under the glare of the lights, I saw my batch mates arriving. I wasn’t able to restrain a small smile as they came to join my coach, my mom, and the Debate team in the audience.
The fifth contestant began to speak in front, which meant it was time for me to pick my question. A man carried a bowl of rolled up papers and offered it to me. I plucked out a roll at random. I smiled because the question was something I could answer. In this technologically-advanced era, how can we fight against climate change?
I scribbled away at my paper. The buzzer went off and the fifth contestant walked back to her seat. I only had a minute left. I stopped listing my points and then mentally went through them. The buzzer went off again. It was my turn. I stood up and moved towards microphone. The mic stand was too low, so I attempted to adjust it. I didn’t know how. I frowned slightly, before I rolled my eyes discreetly, and then I just took the mic from the stand. What a great way to begin.
I read the question, gave a brief definition and background, and then laid down my three points before I launched into my explanation. The feeling was just indescribable. Words just flowed out of my mouth as if a supernatural force from heaven above was pulling them out. I spoke as my mind was conjuring up sentences at breakneck speed. I made up for what I lacked in power with pure heart and sincerity. I reiterated my points, rather smartly. I was finished; all that’s left to do was to give a curt bow and farewell. I made a small bow and then I opened my mouth and said: “Good morning.”
Good morning. Crap. It was afternoon.
I realized my mistake rather quickly, so I sheepishly added in: “Ay, good afternoon!”
Well, at least that was something they would be able to remember. I made my way back to my seat. When I faced the crowd again, I made sure to keep a smile on my face.
Time passed, and finally it came to the announcement of the top three. I gripped my pencil until my knuckles almost turned white. Then finally, the emcee announced that Colegio de San Ignacio made it to the final round. I smiled full-force. For this final round, the finalists would be taken away from the area. Only one finalist at a time was allowed on stage, so that we wouldn’t be able to hear what each other would say. As luck would have it, I would be the first one to speak. The other two finalists – Davao Christian and Ateneo – were escorted to one of the offices upstairs. The three of us were to have the same question. Do you think that the economic and social advantages of putting up a coal power plant outweigh the possible disadvantages it could cause to the environment? Justify.
The emcee asked if I wished to go backstage to write down my points, I said no and stayed on stage. The crowd applauded. Soon, I started talking extemporaneously. To my horror, I forgot what my second point was. There was an awkward silence that dragged for an eternity. I blurted out:
“Oh my God…”
I could practically hear the audience’s shock.
Luckily, I managed to remember. So I continued on with a calm face. In the middle of it all, I made another slip-up. “So I agree with the coal cowe-power, ahh blech, coal power plant.” Despite the fact that I got tongue-tied, I let out a good-natured chuckle and carried on. At the end of my talk, I gave another curt nod and this time I said ‘Good afternoon,’ with emphasis on the “afternoon”. The crowd applauded.
Time ticked on and everyone was done with their turn. We sat on the edges of our seats, waiting for the final decision. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the chair of the board of judges announced the champion.
“Colegio de San Ignacio!”
My batch mates jumped out of their seats and roare before things even registered in my brain.
I won. I joined my batch mates in the audience, and they enveloped me an embrace. Things went by in a blur after that. After all those slip-ups earlier, I just kept on smiling. I did it. I gave them, and myself, something to remember.
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When I Found the Beat


Have you ever fallen in love? That feeling when things just don’t make sense without it? That addictive feeling that you experience almost to a point that nothing else is in your mind other than that? Well, if you think this piece of paper would contain stories about me and girls then you won’t find it here because I’m going to talk about how I met my true love, my love for the drums.
I grew up in a musically inclined family. My father and older brother can play the guitar and all of us sing and in one way or another, you’re obliged to learn an instrument. My family often suggested when I was young that I learn how to play the piano. In fact they even hired a piano teacher for me. But pressing motionless and lifeless keys made of wood, which were too orderly and safe for my liking, wasn’t really the most exciting of activities. I felt bad because when I told my father that I didn’t want to pursue what he wanted, he was disappointed, so I sought another instrument, the bass guitar.
It was introduced to me by my brother, who needed a practice buddy, because at that time he had a band and more often than not they had to practice individually on their own time. So there I was, a young child forced to play an instrument that it obviously ten years too early for me, but my parents were so glad to see me trying to play that they even bought one for me, and because I was presumably a good child, I wanted to make them happy, so I tried to learn the instrument. I practiced and practiced to the point where my little fingers would get bruised and eventually grow calluses because of the thick, rough and rusty strings, not to mention the long frets of the bass guitar. I was clearly struggling. So once again, I quit.
Then I found this instrument that was the gateway for me to finding my true love. I saw it first at a party celebrating my godfather’s birthday. The first time I used the box drum felt so familiar. I mastered it after a few months but I thought there was something missing. I was looking for variety.
I sought after variety so I asked my father if I could start attending drum lessons. Soon after asking my father, I started attending class at Conpinco music studio. I was pretty nervous because it was the first time that I would be playing the drums. Negative thoughts kept pounding my mind as I entered the room. What if I fail? What if this thing would turn out to be another failure? What if I disappoint my family again? Thoughts like this invaded my mind. But all these thoughts got washed away when I hit the drums for the first time. Sound waves that sent chills to my bones bounced back and forth across the small room after hitting the drums. It was a glorious feeling.  It was love at first sight, well, technically, love at first hit.
I have been falling in love with these cylindrical pieces of wood covered with thick plastic covering that make unique sounds, this thing that we call the drums, more and more each day –  ever since the first time I laid hands on them. Every time I smack the cymbals with all my might. Every time I hit the tums. Every time I use the pedal of the drums, stomping my feet like there was no tomorrow. I felt like I was becoming one with it. People call it faith, others call it destiny, but the one thing I know for certain was that we were made for each other to make eargasmic music together. And together, we’ll make the world a beat better.

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The Moment I Chose to Live


I can still remember the day when making the right choice was the biggest challenge of my life. Two years ago, I had a life-threatening disease that could have led to my death. It all started last December 31, 2010 in our province, Malita, Davao del Sur when I woke up at three o’clock in the afternoon. When I went out of the room, I saw my Tita preparing the ingredients for our dinner. Since that dish was really my favorite, I decided to eat only bread so that I can eat a lot more later. We were in church attending mass at six o’clock in the evening when the upper part of my stomach ached. My mother and I assumed that it was nothing and I just needed to apply some liniment on it.
When we arrived home, the dinner was ready. And since I only had bread for breakfast and lunch, I ate a lot until my stomach ached again. The feeling was as if I was still hungry. So I went to my room and rested but I found myself eating again, thinking I could ease the pain in that way. But the pain never went away, it hurt even more. I cried and cried because I was already feeling back pains and this scared my mother. She brought me to the hospital, but the doctor said that it was just ulcer and gave me medicines for it.
I took the medicines, but there were really no changes, no effect at all. So my Tito decided to call a faith healer. The faith healer arrived, prayers were said and rituals were done. But still, the pain that I felt was still there. My mother was very worried, but the fear I felt in my heart was worse. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. I tried to keep calm but the thoughts in my head were really bothering me. I had the worst New Year’s gift ever, celebrating New Year lying in bed and suffering from stomach pain.
The next morning, we decided to go home to Davao so that we could go to a better hospital. I was a little relieved from the pain. When we got home, I even started to make my project to pass when classes resume on January 3. A few minutes later, I started to feel the pain again, but I didn’t mind because I really had to finish my work. At six o’clock, the pain was back again! I cried and my mother said that we will go to the hospital the next day. So I lied in my bed crying and trying to fight against the pain. I prayed to God and told Him that I needed Him. “Lord, if you want to take me now, please take me. Because I can’t.. I can’t do this anymore...” I begged as tears fell from my eyes.
I called out for my mother and told her that I wanted to go to the hospital. When we arrived at San Pedro Hospital, a nurse offered me a wheelchair but I said I could still walk. As we entered the Emergency Room, I was worried because there were so many patients. Minutes later, a nurse or maybe a doctor examined me and asked me some questions. I was admitted and was not allowed to eat nor drink for a couple of days.
The first night was the worst; I cried so much, which made my mother and the nurses panic. My mother was complaining because they didn’t do anything for me to feel better. The nurses were trying their best, I knew. It was four or five in the morning when I fell asleep.  When I woke up, I wanted to eat but sadly, I couldn’t. My doctor arrived and said that I’m going to take some laboratory tests. So after many tests like x-ray, ultrasounds, and others, the doctor said that it was Pancreatitis. It is inflammation of the pancreas, which required immediate medical attention and hospitalization during an attack. If not prevented, this can damage blood vessels and lead to internal bleeding, which may be life-threatening.
            It was my third day in the hospital when my classmates came to visit me. And then I remembered that classes had already resumed two days ago. I felt like I wanted to regret all the things I did that made me have this disease but I didn’t, because I believed that everything happens for a reason and God has plans for me. So the next day, I was allowed to eat and drink a little because the doctor said I was recovering. That news made me and my Mom very happy.
            It was Friday when my doctor said I could go home. The pain went away and I was already fine. The doctor told me about the things not to eat and not to drink: acidic foods and alcoholic beverages. The doctor also said that we must be thankful that I was brought to the hospital in time because if I were not, I could have died.
            I left the hospital with such happiness in my heart, because I survived, because God has given me another chance to live, and because I made the right choice – to live. The things that we have and the things that are happening now are all from the choices we make, from the very moment we open our eyes to the moment we close them. It is our own choice, and it will always be that way.
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